OK because billy complained that the last QB post wasn't about his team, we will fulfill his wish and present to you the Pennsauken Quarterback syllabus, in recognition of the release of the (spoiler alert!) greatest quarterback in Phoenix history, Jonathan Mentzer! This was inspired by an article I read (sorry Bears fans!) on the greatest Chicago QBs of the last 40 years, which concluded that Jay Cutler was the best they could muster. Without further adieu, the billyvan Pennsauken QB syllabus. Pour one out for the Phoenix fans who have had to watch these guys in action the last 10 years!
2027 - Billy takes control of the Houston Oilers and rebrands them. Incumbent QB is Robin Arroyo. That would be Arroyo's only season in Houston. 2680 yards, with 6 TDs and 16 INTs. It was no surprise that during the season, billy gave Stephen Doyle (38% completions, 1 TD, 13 INTs) and John Heidel (47% completions, 2 TDs, 7 INTs) chances to start. Billy also started old man Brian Teeple for one game where he threw 3 TDs and 1 INT with a QB rating of 101.45. This puts Teeple in the running for greatest Phoenix QB of all time. Note: none of the QBs in 2027 would ever play for Pennsauken again.
2028 - After cleaning house with the QB room, it was a new era in Pennsauken. Billy traded a second and third round pick for Jonathan Mentzer. (The second rounder would become star DT Howard James of South Brisbane). But not to be satisfied, Billy also traded for QB Cliff Harshaw, trading a first and second round pick away. (the first rounder turned out to be Ross McKibben, LB, that billy later acquired via trade). Mentzer won the starting job and threw for over 6000 yards and 41 TDs.
2029 - The "stable" era of QBs. It was Mentzer and Harshaw again, with Mentzer throwing for over 4000 yards with 25 TDs.
2030 - Not satisfied with Mentzer evidently, billy begins musical chairs at QB, with Mentzer splitting starts with Harshaw and free agent addition Eddy Orcutt. Mentzer still had the best stats, 2400 yards with 15 TDs, but did not finish the season as the starter, and Orcutt was handed a big extension. The Harshaw era ended after this season: 3300 yards, 13 TDs and 11 INTs in his career for Pennsauken. One of the Pennsauken greats at QB, somehow!
2031 - After handing a big extension to Orcutt, naturally, Billy trades LB Thomas Morales (rank 90 LB, who is still in the league) for QB David Bender. Bender is the starter for most of the year, throwing for 2700 yard 17 TDs and 21 INTs. Orcutt gets one game in and throws 1 INT, 0 TDs, and billy starts a QB that would get converted to RB and WR at QB this season in blatant tanking moves. Mentzer gets one game too, and is his usual solid self, 1 TD, 1 INT.
2032 - Billy simplifies things down to Bender to Mentzer. The two split starts and both are bad. 69 QB rating for Bender, 74 QB rating for Mentzer.
2033 - Mentzer regains the starting role, throwing for 3500 yards and 19 TDs and 20 INTs. But Bender still gets starts, 3 TDs, 3 INTs only.
2034 - Billy signs Todd Sather as his QB hero solution. Sather throws exactly 0 TDs, and 7 INTs before he is benched and guess who starts again? Jonathan Mentzer finishes out the season throwing for 3500 yards, 16 TDs and 15 INTs.
2035 - Sather retires, so billy in what might actually have been a smart move, signed former MVP Joseph Kelly as QB. Kelly proceeds to throw for 1700 yards, 7 TDs and 9 INTs before he gets benched for... wait for it... Jonathan Mentzer, who finishes out the season with one of the strongest finishes: 2600 yards, 17 TDs and only 9 INTs.
2036 - So Mentzer, coming off one of his best seasons, and Pennsauken with a pretty strong finish to the year, winning a respectable 6 games, of course billy trades for, not one, but two QBs. And Mentzer heads to the bench to watch Daniel McCrea throw 4 TDs and 25 INTs... so far. And now news comes that Mentzer will be released mid-season. An ignominious end to the career of the "greatest" Pennsauken QB ever.
The Houston/Pennsauken billyvan era all time starting QB ratings:
1. Jonathan Mentzer - 24,000 yards, 139 TDs, 80 QB rating
2. Clifford Harshaw - 3300 yards, 13 TDs, 11 INTs, 75 QB rating
3. Eddy Orcutt - 1400 yards, 9 TDs, 7 INTs, 78 QB rating
4. Brian Teeple - 337 yards, 3 TDs, 1 INT, 101 QB rating
5. David Bender - 6000 yards, 32 TDs, 39 INTs, 73 QB rating
6. Joseph Kelley - 1700 yards, 7 TD, 9 INTs, 70 QB rating
7. Robin Arroyo - 2600 yards, 6 TDs, 16 INTs, 65 QB rating
8. Brian Harris - 745 yards, 2 TDs, 5 INTs, 55 QB rating
9. Todd Sather - 428 yards, 0 TDs, 7 INTs, 35 QB rating
10. John Heidel - 336 yards, 2 TDs, 7 INTs, 34 QB rating
11. Stephen Doyle - 932 yards, 1 TD, 13 INTs 28 QB rating
12. Warren Gage (WR) - 0 yards, 0 TDs, 10 INT, 0 rating.
And TBD Daniel McCrea, 220 yards, 4 TDs, 25 INTs, 48 QB rating.
10 seasons, 13 starting QBs. And yes, Jonathan Mentzer will go down for Pennsauken fans as the "GOAT"! And which also is very sad. But don't worry, QB "expert" billy has it all figured out!
For comparison, the Arkansas Thrashers last 10 years starting QB rankings:
1. John Spartan
End of list